Mixing parents and Twitter is a dangerously hilarious combination that we have already established previously. We showed you the most hilarious mom tweets, dad tweets, we even showed you the best celebrity parent tweets. This time, we’ve got something just as good in store for you.
We here at Fillgap News went through the parenting tweets of 2017, picked out the best ones so far, and put them all together in this list! Serving at your pleasure, all of the tweets in this list are so hilarious they’re bound to make you laugh, even if you’re not a parent! Keep on scrolling to check them out and don’t forget to vote for your favorites.
I closed my finger in a drawer and yelled “Son of a bitch!” and my 6 yo called from another room “What is it? Is it Trump? What did he do?”
— Kristin (@FeralCrone) June 30, 2017
I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) March 28, 2017
Me: Harry Potter can use magic to fix his glasses.
6-year-old: Why doesn’t he use magic to fix his eyes?
Me: *questions everything I know*
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) March 10, 2017
I’m glad we own 10,000 stuffed animals so my toddler can fall asleep cuddling with a jar of peanuts. pic.twitter.com/mIJKNg2DEp
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2017
Me: Did you have a good day at school?
6-year-old: That’s not how school works.
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) May 8, 2017
5-year-old: *walks up behind me when I’m on the computer* What game are you playing?
Me: Pay the bills.
5: Are you winning?
— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) June 17, 2017
What I thought I would say as a parent:
“You are going to change the world.”
What I say as a parent:
“Stop licking the window.”
— MyMomologue (@MyMomologue) February 2, 2017
Book title, “Parenting a Strong-willed Child”
Loosely translated, “So You’ve got Yourself a Little Asshole”
— she’s unfiltered (@MommaUnfiltered) February 16, 2017
I can’t wait until my son is a cool teen who thinks I’m super embarrassing so I can remind him that he used to beg to watch me poop
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) July 3, 2017
Wife: Think we’ll be empty-nesters?
Me: What’s that?
Wife: People who miss their kids after they’ve moved out.
Then we laughed and laughed.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) June 28, 2017