It just doesn’t get better for Florida

A woman in Vero Beach was arrested two months ago after she allegedly stabbed her boyfriend in the eye when he refused her request to have a threesome with another woman. Here’s how this love story plays out: Girl is out at the club. Girl brings home other girl from the club. Boyfriend is sleeping. Girl starts going down on other girl and tries to wake up boy to join in. He refuses. She stabs him in the left eye. When is the wedding, guys?

Man tries to have sex with an entire family

This citizen was arrested after driving 400 miles to get it on with a man he met on, a website promoting incest. (Here’s a question: Why does this website even exist?!) Unfortunately for this person, the man with whom he made plans was actually an undercover Department of Homeland Security agent. During text message conversations, he said he would “make love to all three of you,” referring to the agent’s 12-year-old-son and 11-year-old daughter.

When a jealous ex goes a little too far

A Texas woman, Samantha Weber, was arrested and charged with a felony for online impersonation (that’s a thing?) after she posted an ad on Craigslist to solicit sex from strangers on behalf of her ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend. Did you follow all that? New girlfriend Heather McCarthy started to have visitors to her home from strange men, asking her to perform sexual acts. Once she called the police, it was only a matter of time before they tracked down Weber’s IP address and nabbed her as the culprit.

Check out this guy’s arrest record

This story is way too convoluted to follow. Bottom line: Christopher Lynn Jackson branded his name on at least one former girlfriend’s genital area. Was arrested. Cut to: Picked up again after detectives found a bunch of porn videos in his home featuring himself and two women performing sex acts on his German Shepherd. Josephine Erikson, 61, was also arrested as one of the women participating in this.

An infamous case

This list wouldn’t be complete without one of the most infamous and craziest sex stories of all time: The time when Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband John’s penis in 1993 and threw it out the window. Yea, that gem deserves to go in the history books for sure!